Friday, November 04, 2005

hello

hello eveyone.
thanks for viewing my website for a long time.
since i have been wanted to change my site for a long time,
i made a new one.

enjoy!!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

note to my mind

なんだかみんな就活が終わり、就職先が決まり、内定式に
出てる中、あたしはちょっと取り残された気分になってる今日このごろ。
人生の選択なんて何百とあるってこと知ってるはずなのに、
何故かみんなの未来を応援したい一方、
何か寂しいかんじがします。
決して自分が選んだ道を後悔してるわけじゃないんだけど、
ずっと毎日学校で顔あわせてた、一緒に泣いて
一緒に笑ってたみんなが、一足先に脱皮して
きっちりスーツなんて着ちゃって。

なんだかあたしが大人になりそこねた子みたいなかんじ。

決して自分の立場に満足してないわけじゃないのに、
ちょっとだけみんなとくらべてしまいます。
決して自分がおくれてるわけじゃないのに、
ちょっとだけみんなと差を感じてしまいます。

人一倍社会人になって
いっぱいいっぱい働くことを夢見てたあたしなのに、
何故か遠回りしてる気がしてしまいます。

正しい道なんて、正しい選択なんてないって知ってるはずなのに、
何故か自分の道に疑問を持ってしまいます。

でもこの答えを持ってるのはあたしだけだし、
不安を取り除けるのもあたしだけだし、
今の自分を充実させるのもあたしだけだし、
脱皮して、大人になるのもあたし次第。

そしたらきっとみんなをいっぱいいっぱい
応援できるし、また自分の夢に向かって一歩ずつ
進める気がします。

今はただがむしゃらに生きるだけ。
それが一番近道だって分かってるし、
後悔しない道なんだって思います。

Sunday, October 02, 2005

love is...

love is like a precious plant. you can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. you've got to keep watering it; really look after it and nurture it.

speak in my mind

んとねぇ~あたし日本にもうそろそろ帰りたいわ。
まじで。ほんとに。うん。
みんなに会っていっぱい元気もらっていっぱい充電して、
んで「よしっ」ってまた頑張れる自分になりたい。


友達に会いたいんです。
昔スキだった人に会いたいんです。
家族に会いたいんです。
故郷を感じたいんです。

Friday, September 30, 2005

my star.

oh ya, she's hot.

i want u.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."
The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.
To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.
What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.

The night is full of stars and she is not with me.
That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.

My soul is lost without her.
As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.
The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.
Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.
Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,

my soul is lost without her.
Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

Monday, September 26, 2005

あたしの人生クソです。

Sunday, September 25, 2005

thank you for celebrating my bday guys...